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To The Edge or How I Spent My Summer Vacation (2005)

Jamming my 4x4 down slope,

smunching metal,

busting glass,

jerking it into rocks and stumps for maximum damage

I drag myself behind to rip open my ugliness

and let the shame run free.


Near the bottom, the engine still running,

I feel it’s close,

Somewhere here,

My destination.

My purpose behind all this



Here it is! After all this time!

I kept covering it up when I wasn’t looking.

No wonder I couldn’t find the motherfucker.


Bruised and bloodied

but anticipating return on my investment

I drag myself to the edge and take

A Good Look.


Jesus! It’s a hole!

A bottomless hole!


Something inside

recoils me back from the edge

and I know.

Self-torture has no return or end,

only deeper darkness.


The engine dies, my heart and pockets empty.

Abyss in front, wreck behind,

I sit and smell the woods.